There is a lot in the world for kids to be anxious about—terrifying world events, school shootings, climate change, pandemics—and that’s not to mention the added pressures of social media. It’s no surprise, then, that mental health professionals have seen an increase in anxiety among pediatric patients.
“Two children can experience the same event and one child might have a small reaction while the other may develop significant difficulties,” says Jordan Braciszewski, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at Henry Ford Health. “We see it with veterans who go through war together—despite experiencing the same things, some develop PTSD while others don’t. Why a particular child will develop anxiety is dependent upon a variety of biological, psychological and environmental factors. Some children are just more prone to anxiety than others.”
Like all of our emotions, anxiety is experienced on a range—and a certain amount of anxiety is actually healthy. “If you had no anxiety at all, it would be like taking a test without preparing and assuming you’ll do well,” says Dr. Braciszewski. “But if you have so much anxiety that it’s preventing you from socializing, doing well in school, getting along with peers, or engaging in extracurricular activities, you may need help.”
Signs Of Anxiety In Kids
Manifestations of anxiety often differ based upon a child’s age. Signs of anxiety that may not be obvious in elementary school-aged children include:
- Having tantrums or being aggressive
- Avoiding school or after-school activities
- Experiencing nightmares
- Having difficulty concentrating
- Complaining of headaches or stomachaches, which are physical manifestations of anxiety
Other less obvious signs of anxiety in teenagers can include:
- Experiencing sleep disturbances
- Overeating or undereating
- Being agitated or irritable
- Withdrawing from social situations
Anxiety Coping Skills For Kids
Being raised in a supportive, steady environment can teach children resilience from a young age. Dr. Braciszewski shares ways to help your child manage in times of hardship:
Pediatrics At Henry Ford
1. Stick to routines. “Schedules provide children with a sense of safety and control,” says Dr. Braciszewski. “The more kids can predict what’s going on in their environment, the less scary it is. Routines offer a supportive foundation from which they can explore and confront whatever is making them anxious. Have your child go to bed and wake up at the same time, sign them up for an art class on Tuesdays, have a playdate every Saturday morning.”
2. Connect with family. Planning activities your child can look forward to—and that allow you to spend quality time together—can help them face something they might be anxious about. “For example, maybe you’ll take them to the library to pick out a few books after school, or maybe Friday is family movie night and they get to choose the movie and snack,” says Dr. Braciszewski.
3. Teach mindfulness skills. Being mindful recenters our attention on the present, instead of worrying about the past or future. Yoga and deep breathing exercises are great ways to practice mindfulness, but you can also teach your child mindfulness with chocolate. Yes, chocolate. “Give your child a small piece of chocolate and have them eat it slowly,” says Dr. Braciszewski. “Ask them what it feels like to have the chocolate melt on their tongue. Ask them what it tastes like, how it feels against their teeth. It’s a fun way to experience mindfulness.”
4. Prepare a self-soothing sensory box. Have your child pick one item for each of the five senses: for example, mints for taste, a picture of their caregivers for sight, a small stuffed animal for touch, a lotion for smell and a recording of their favorite song for hearing. “Put them in a box and have it on hand to soothe your child when they are anxious,” says Dr. Braciszewski. “It’s similar to mindfulness, as it can help ground children in the present. Comforting items that appeal to their senses can calm them down.”
5. Create a non-judgmental environment for kids to express their feelings. Having a safe space where your child feels empowered to speak freely teaches them communication skills—and also lets you know what’s going on in their world. “If your child is being argumentative after school, be curious,” says Dr. Braciszewski. “Ask them about the best and worst parts of their day, ask them who they played with. You might find their outburst is a result of something they’re anxious or upset about.”
Having an open line of communication can also let you know when they should see a therapist.
“If your child’s anxiety is continuing or worsening, take them to a professional,” says Dr. Braciszewski. “It doesn’t mean they’ll need long-term therapy. We see many kids with anxiety just a handful of times. We give them and their caregivers the tools they need to manage—and then they don’t need us anymore.
“That said, you don’t have to wait until anxiety is really bad to see a therapist. I think we should all have therapists in the same way we have primary care doctors. As mental health issues are becoming destigmatized, I’m thankful younger generations are more inclined to say they’re anxious in the same way they say their knee hurts.”
Reviewed by Jordan Braciszewski, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at Henry Ford Health.
